Jack's Musings
by Secrets-and-Smiles
Summary: Jack thinks about his relationship with Ianto.


**Author's Note: Torchwood is owned by the BBC. Sexual references made.**

Jack often wonders what the others think of his relationship with Ianto Jones. He knows that they assume that the poor young man was seduced by the worldly captain, and that there was no chance for Ianto after that. What they didn't know was that it was Ianto who had done the seducing by propositioning Jack over a dead body of all things. Jack smiled wryly, they'd never believe that.

It was also the general consensus that Jack was the 'man' in the relationship, whether that was because of his age or his status he didn't know, but he and Ianto knew that in that respect they were both equal. The team would be shocked if they knew that during sex Ianto more often than not topped, Jack enjoyed the feeling of Ianto on top of him, inside him…he had never had such an inventive, passionate lover before, and considering his lifespan that was saying something.

Jack couldn't put a finger on when he fell in love with Ianto, sometimes he thinks that he had fallen in love but just didn't _know_ it until he left with the Doctor. Other days he thinks it was the day that the Master found Ianto and tortured him, killed him in front of his eyes. Jack shivered, he pushes that memory back, it was weird, it technically did happen, but in Ianto's world it didn't…Jack prefers Ianto's world.

Jack wonders how he managed to find this strange little love of theirs, they had stumbled upon it, brief fumblings over his desk and in the archives turned into making love in Ianto's flat or Jack's bunker. He finds it odd that out of the last two hundred years and then his mortal life before that, he has never loved this fiercely before, and it was fierce, Jack knew that he would do anything to protect Ianto.

His mind wanders to past lovers, aliens with tentacles, triple breasted women, pleasure planets and even other humans, but none compared to Ianto. He wonders how such a quiet twenty first century man had made it so that Jack lived to see him; lived for those quiet moments when they could smile and laugh, feel his soft lips and strong arms around him, whisper sweet nothings and flirty one liners yet both meaning the same amount of love.

Jack can't pick one thing that he loves most about Ianto; he loves how in the shower Ianto's hair curls slightly and how he has the most amazing bed hair in the morning. He loves how his eyes can be so soft and caring but also hungry and lustful, somehow with his eyes Ianto can convey every emotion without saying a word, sometimes Jack fancifully thought that Ianto could see into his very being with those eyes. Jack loved that even though Ianto was constantly worrying at his lips with his teeth, his lips were still smooth and soft, he loved how he knew that Ianto was concentrating by the small frown on his forehead and the tip of his tongue sticking out of his mouth. Jack loved Ianto's accent, so rich, deep, dark and delicious, like his coffee. Jack just loved Ianto, how he made Jack feel so safe in his arms, how he accepted that at work Jack has to make difficult decisions, how he keeps the nightmares and guilt at bay.

One of Ianto's traits that Jack most appreciates, is his quiet discretion, he can listen for hours to Jack talking about his past, other worlds, other planets. Ianto even knows his real name; sometimes he makes Jack smile as he shouts it out in climax. Ianto accepts every part of him. This is why he knew that it would never work with Gwen, Gwen would tell all his secrets or she would at least make sure that the others knew that she knew; he also knew that Gwen wouldn't see that sometimes one must be sacrificed to save a thousand. Gwen was all too ready to both hero worship and lay blame at his door; she couldn't see any good in what she perceived as evil or wrong actions. Gwen could never love him like Ianto does and Jack could never love her like he loves Ianto, so he rebuffs her advances and soothes Ianto's heartache at his supposed friend and colleague's actions. He makes sure that Ianto knows that he is loved, that he is appreciated, that he is needed. In return, Ianto does the same, he shows that Jack is loved; he shows that he is appreciated and he shows that he is needed. This is all Jack needs, a shy, quiet, strong, intelligent, handsome and quick witted Welshman that loves him. It makes eternity, for now, that little bit easier.


End file.
